Purple and Orange. Bears.

I woke up this morning at 4 in the a.m.  Jared had just gotten into bed and therefore got to hear a snippet of my dream.  This is what I told him,

Me:  There was a purple bear, and an orange bear.
Jared:  What?
Me:  Bears.  Purple and Orange.  They were chasing me.
Jared:  Er. Weird.
Me:  Yeah, they told me they were tame.  They were not.  Purple and Orange. Bears.
Jared:  Go back to bed. 

I don't think I will ever be able to go camping.  My fear of bears is too prominent in my dreams.

Fish

Do you remember that episode of Full House where Michele got a pet fish and then her fish had babies?  I had a dream very similar to that.  I dreamed that I was at my parents house, and got the fish fever.  I used to get the fish fever often as a kid and would REALLY want a fish.  So I would gather all the money I had, fish (har har) for coins in the bottom of my dad's closet, until I could get one of those $1.50 gold fish.  I loved that.  Anyways, so back to the dream.  I got this old aquarium out from under the bathroom sink and started filling it up with water.  I carried it into my parents room and put  it on their dresser to look at it while I went searching for coins.  When I put it down, I noticed a fish swimming around in there.  It was so bizarre (even to dream me).  But I figured, the fish was in there and went into hibernation when we last used the tank.  Now that there was water, it came back to life.  It was pretty exciting, but I had no idea what kind of fish it was.  I went and turned on my parent's computer (which takes FORever) and came back, and there were two fish.  The second fish was all bloated and creeped me out.  And then out of no where, it started pooping baby fish.  Millions of them.  The water in the tank starting frothing and bubbling, and overflowing.  I was freaking out because it was in my parents room, and my dad would flip.  So I went in to the computer room, looked at facebook (tried to think of a really good status, but nothing came), and then went back.  The birthing process had finally finished, and there were SOOOO many babies.  I woke up and pondered what I was going to feed the fish. 

Vegas Baby.

Man alive. I haven't posted on here in SOOO long.  Reason being that pregnant dreams are really insane, and best not to be shared.  However, since then, they are still quite freaky.   Last night for instance, I was driving some friends home from a quick trip to Payson.  What we did in Payson is still a mystery.  On the freeway, I decided to take a new off-ramp.  It turned into a dirt road.  Bears were roaming on the sides of the road, and there were buffalo kicking it in the fields.  The friends and I were just talking and singing to music, you know not paying much attention.  When all of sudden I noticed that we were in Las Vegas.  I flipped when I saw how far we went, thinking we would run out of gas, but the tank was still full.  I called Jared, but my parents ended up showing up.  And we rode roller coasters.

Just say no

I think I heard before that pregnant women have really weird dreams.  I had really weird dreams before I was pregnant.  So, you can IMAGINE the insanity that unfolds when I close my eyes.  I sort of feel like Alice in Wonderland when the caterpillar starts smoking the stuff.  Or when Dumbo gets drunk and there are bubble creatures dancing about him.  And in every single dream, without fail, there is someone whom I have had very little association with, or have not seen for at least 7 years. The main reason I am not indulging you by sharing my dreams is that they have been really violent.  We don't have cable, only an antennae, which gets maybe 3 channels, and all they show are those murder-CSI-figure-out-who-the rapists/serial-killer-is-in-time-before-someone-else-is-brutally-murdered-shows.  

I am thinking that we should not allow our children to watch disney movies.  They are kind of creepy.

Pretty sure this could be Avatar 2

So now that the cat is officially out of the bag about little fetus, I can now blog about my weird pregnancy dreams.  NOW, you thought my dreams were bizarre before?!  WEEEE dogggy.  I wish I had written them all down, but alas, I thought it would be a little strange seeing as how most of them involved me having a baby and then hilarity ensued. 

Now for last nights dream.

My mom was at the zoo with Jared and I.  The zoo keepers led us all back in to the back where the zoo is no longer attractive, but dirty and where the cages open...which is not my favorite.  But it turns out that my mother was in the market for a puppy.  She said we could help pick it out.  There were so many varieties and pretty much all of them were small and adorable.  My mom decided to pick out the very smallest dog in the whole place.  How small are we talking?  Chihuahua?  No.  It was the size of an ant.  Basically it had just fallen out of the dog and the zoo put it in a cage to sell.  It was so weird.  My mom was laughing because there was no way to know how big the little larvae of a dog would be when it grew up.  And then she dropped it.  It was like when you are looking for a contact in the carpet.  No fun.  I eventually got it, but was worried I squished it when I picked it up.  I put it back in the cage and we moved on to the furry normal sized puppies.

And in true dream fashion, I was suddenly lead into another room which contained a hospital bed and my mother on it.  And there was an empty bed for me.  I started panicking.  What the heck is wrong with my mom?  She was just playing and laughing with the ant dog!  So I went to the doctor, who was the actress from Glee (er I don't really know her name or anything, because I don't watch Glee, sue me), the short haired older blonde lady who is mean?  Anyway, I was yelling at her to tell me what the heck was going on with my mother, and she bolted out of the zoo.  I chased her all around the place (and considering she was in a truck labeled zoo, and I was just running, I did awesome catching up to her) and we eventually ended up in front of the rec center at Provo High.  She said,
 "Well, since I can't shake you off, I guess I will let you in on what is going on with your mother.  We are putting her brain in another body.  We have begun a program to breed humans but we only perfected the shell, so you mother volunteered her brain.  And since you are mother and daughter you are part of the experiment as well, to see if normal interactions are the same after transplant." 

Now, since I am so clever, I agreed.  I went back to the zoo with crazy lady, and she led me back to the place and showed me the whole process of this 'so called' human breeding program.  There were babies, toddlers, and so on until we reached the adult section.  CREEEEEEPY.  She pointed out which one was my moms.  And then said, you can pick from those three, unless you want to be a man.  I declined manhood.  I had a plan to foil the whole thingy by unplugging the machine that made it all work, but I couldn't did find the plug. 

And then I woke up.

Ring of Fire.

So, last night I had a super bizarro dream.
It started out in a huge gymnasium. Sort of like a convention, but my dream left out the part of why I was there and what the convention was about. Micquel and I were walking out of the gym and there was a table with free stuff. Do you guys remember those nuskin bags we would get in elementary? Made of like nylon?

 it took me forever to find one similar to it.

They had those but super small. I was considering using one for my scripture bag. They had bags and free lip balm. Awesome. Well, some guy in front of us grabbed like 50 of everything and started booking it. Micquel and I looked at each other and shrugged our shoulders. What an idiot. What is he going to do with 50 nylon bags? Well, the convention workers were pretty po'd about it. They asked us if we knew the guy who stole the stuff. We didn't. They didn't believe us. So, this super short girl who had short brown hair started walking inbetween Micquel and I, and grabbed our hands and handcuffed micquel and I together. ODD. The handcuffs had a long chain holding us together, so we were, more or less, tethered together. As we walked out of the gym (because people were pushing us), we were met with a crowd surrounding us. The started pushing us toward two guys swinging a jumping rope. One of the guys was the guy who stole the stuff. The short girl stood in front of us and started threatening us, "We don't believe you. You will go through the obstacle course from hell." Aye Caramba! We got shoved in front of the swinging jump rope. It was one of those plastic ones that really sting when you get slapped with one.

  Micquel went first and jumped right through.  I had to go because we were tethered.  But I didn't want to jump.  (*and for some reason the chain didn't stop the swinging rope).  So I just kind of shuffled into the rope and yelped from the pain of it hitting me.  Next we were faced with a little alley way of hot burning coals.  But they were big coals that you would have to jump over and climb over.  We were allowed to wear our shoes, but Micquel was wearing flip flops and didn't want to get them ruined.  So she took hers off and started galloping off into the coals.  I had thick Nike shoes on so I headed into the fire.  It still burned, but I ran through that thing like nobody's business.  When I got to the other side, Micquel's feet were fine.  And she said, "that was fun! And exfoliating."

Stick to the rivers and the lakes you are used to

You have probably given up on me ever writing on this blog again. I have had bizarre dreams involving saving the world from unemployment, and begging Jared for a pet llama but losing intrest in it when Jaba the llama decided to drink tea. But I noticed something as I was driving southbound on I-15. I always wake up with a song in my head. More times than I would like to admit it has been soul sister by train. This morning it was waterfalls by tlc. I asked Jared if he had a song in his head when he woke up, his was: No Diggity. We are made for each other.